Sunday, January 27, 2013

More Arms Than Legs

MORE ARMS THAN LEGS!
BY: ALEKSANDAR MEDENICA




More arms than legs

“There I was,” the handyman says to all of his buddies on their coffee brake, “just minding my own business, walking the streets of Philly. Out of no where, this thing, popped out and me, and spit some kind of goop at my face, it was really disgusting, but I didn't have time to see what it was, so I just whipped the stuff off of my face, and ran as fast as I could! As soon as I came home I asked my wife if she knew what it was, she had no clue!” the handyman continues, “So I decided to take it to my buddy who was a biologist,” “WHAT DID HE SAY?” yelled one of the other workers, “Relax man, I am not finished yet. So as I was waiting to see what the goop was, I started to feel some pain on the right side of the rib cage. I didn’t know what it was at the time, “maybe it was just a cramp,” I thought to myself. Anyways, as soon as my friend got out of his office, he told me,”
DIALOGUE BETWEEN HANDYMAN AND DOCTOR:
Doc - “This, my friend, is some serious toxic waste!
Handyman – “You mean the stuff that can kill you?”
Doc – “No the stuff that makes you happy! Ofcorse the stuff that can kill you, your lucky you didn’t die because of coming in contact with it!”
Handyman – “Ok Doc, enough of your sarcasm, what is this ‘Hazardous wastes’ you are talking about?”
Doc - “Hazardous wastes are poisonous byproducts of manufacturing, farming, city septic systems, construction, automotive garages, laboratories, hospitals, and other industries. The waste may be liquid, solid, or sludge and contain chemicals, heavy metals, radiation, dangerous pathogens, or other toxins. Even households generate hazardous waste from items such as batteries, used computer equipment, and leftover paints or pesticides.
Handyman- “English Doc, put it in English,”
Doc – “Ok, in simpler words, the waste can harm humans, animals, and plants if they encounter these toxins buried in the ground, in stream runoff, in groundwater that supplies drinking water, or in floodwaters, as happened after Hurricane Katrina. Some toxins, such as mercury, persist in the environment and accumulate. Humans or animals often absorb them when they eat fish.”
Handyman – “Ok, so I am just gonna take it as its bad, but I don’t have any side effects?”
Doc – “Not yet you don’t”
Handyman – “What’s that suppose to mean?”
Doc – “Well, I am sure that you will have some side effects soon, but I don’t know when or what they would be.”
Handyman – “Thanks Doc, ill talk to you later!”
Doc – “Call me if you have any side effects!”

BACK TO DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE HANDY MAN AND HIS FRIENDS
“And that’s how I knew, that I was going to get this third hand of mine!”, one of the workers call out, “But, how did you know you were going to get an extra hand?” “I didn’t, the fun part was trying to figure out what was going to happen to me,” he said with a smile, “How did you figure it out?” another worker said, “I never did, until it happened to me one night.” “What happened?” another worker said anxiously, “Well, do you really wanna know?” They all nodded their heads, “Ok, well it was a normal Sunday evening, just chilling at my house with the wife and kids, one son, one daughter. We went out for dinner at a restaurant, near by our house, but when we came back something looked different about the house, someone had been their,” he said with mysteriousness in his eyes, “I told the family to stay in the car while I inspected the place,” he backed away from the table, but continued to speak, “as I opened the front door, I noticed some movement in the house from the window, as soon as I opened the door, I flicked on the light, and, SURPRISE!!!!!! I had totally forgot it was my birthday, and just out of nowhere, everyone jumped out from underneath everything! A person next to me nocked over the China on the table by the front door and out of instinct you have to grab it, but I didn’t grab it with my two hands, an arm popped out the side of my body and grabbed the China before hitting the ground.” The guys looked at each other. “After that I went…” The announcer interrupted him, “Lunch brake over! GET BACK TO WORK!” “Well, another time guys,” everyone walked off all sad that he couldn’t finish his fantastic story.

 THE END! TO BE CONTINUED!!!


1 comment:

  1. This is a pretty interesting story, maybe you should read through it again, there are some small mistakes in it, and the end seems like you were just too tired to keep on writing, although if you write a second part it will be fine. I also like that you have a picture, and how you explained what hazardous waste is. Maybe you could explain a bit more about the actual genetics part of the story, how the waste changed him and gave him a third hand.

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